with no particular place to go...

So, I have a few minutes *fingers crossed* until the kiddo wakes up. The coffee is brewing, the house is already straightened, the dishes are done - I thought I'd take a minute to post. I have nothing special to say - just thought I'd drop a line for the few of you that still read this thing. :)

So, I've embarked on a new endeavor - and I LOVE it! It's called thegrocerygame.com. It's a beautiful thing! Now that I have two growing men (my husband and my brother) to feed I have to be a little more creative about grocery shopping. I can't tell you how much money it's saved me so far - but I'll try :) - I started it in July and it's probably saved me $600.00 at least on my grocery bill so far. That includes paper products, cleaning products, and diapers. :) It's a blessing. I find that it's quite an addiction. If you decided to check it out and sign up for the free trial, don't forget to mention that I referred you (stvincentorbust@gmail.com)

Anyways, I can hear the little monster stirring in her crib and "talking" to herself. :) Gotta go!

in the hood...

motherhood, that is... :)

Ok, so I've only been a mom for a little over three months now, but I have to say - I LOVE IT! :) To be honest, the first couple weeks were a little touch n go. After the high of having Nora and coming home, etc...things came back to earth real fast and life wasn't so much fun. Actually, the first couple weeks were brutal. I'm sure it's that way for any mom. I guess having an extremely rough birth didn't help matters either. Thankfully I have a great mom that was a huge help and let me get a nap as much as possible. :)

But, after the first 6 weeks or so - things have been awesome! I remember (if you've heard this story, you can skip ahead) rocking in a rocking chair with Nora and both of us were bawling our heads off - I just remember praying, "Lord - you've gotta help me with this - I don't know what I'm doing wrong and unfortunately the Bible doesn't clearly lay out a plan for the day to day care of babies or I'd be all over it - so you're gonna have to impart some wisdom here!" It was shortly after that we found out that Nora had a milk allergy and that's what was causing all of her crying and colic. Whew!

Dave use to come home from work everyday and ask how the day with the baby was. Not too long after we discovered the milk allergy and I cut it out of my diet - Dave came home and for the first time I told him, "Today was awesome! If everyday is like this - this mom thing won't be too bad!" The next day went by, and then another day, etc...and since that day - things have been going well. Not that there aren't days with three blown out diapers and a baby that just wants to be held non-stop, but it's all worth it. :)

Nora is three months now and is just so much fun! I can already tell, the poor child has my personality. Oh dear... She is so curious and wants to be a part of every conversation. She loves being held facing out so that she can see what's going on around her. Daily outings need to be part of our routine or else she gets bored. She loves shopping and looking at all the things in the store and the lights, etc... Basically, as long as she's with people she's happy - for the most part.

Anyways - just to wrap it up - you know when you have a kid that you're going to love them. I mean, duh! :) But - it's insane what that love feels like. I told someone the other day - there's just gotta be a stronger word for love. I mean, I say, "I love pancakes." That word just doesn't even come close to describing what I feel for this little one. It's amazing the love that is in your heart for that tiny little person. And when you think about it - the love that God the Father has for us is even stronger than any love we could have for our child. When you think of it that way it just blows my mind. It's amazing.

it's about time...

sooo...i guess it's time i updated my blog... :)

i'm typing with complete disregard to capitalization because i'm typing one-handed since i have a lovely baby girl in my lap :) i apologize...

so, here's what has happened this summer since may...

- quit my job

- my mom came out for a visit

- dave graduated from seminary

- big graduation party

- dave's fam came out for a visit

- had a baby

- my brother moved his stuff out here

- my dad came out to visit

- dave's sister comes out for navy training/a visit

- dave's mom and other sister come out to visit

- we moved to a new place

- dave quits his job at sears

- dave gets hired full time at our church

so, needless to say we've had a busy summer with quite a few adjustments :) and now i must go because my little girl, nora, is crying! i'll write more soon!

Time for an update... :)

Well, folks - it's been about a month since I last blogged - and wouldn't you believe - I'm one month closer to giving birth. It's amazing how that works! :)

It's been a pretty busy month and the next upcoming month promises to be busy as well. In this last month - we were able to have a weekend getaway to San Clemente where we spent alot of time sleeping and watching TV. It's amazing how enthralled you can be with a TV when you don't have one. :) We felt like lazy bums - but it felt good! :)

Then the next weekend was Easter weekend. I love Easter!! :) So, that was pretty exciting for me. That weekend as well, Dave and I went to a childbirth education class with our good friends (due on the same day). That was...interesting... I saw videos of all sorts of things that I didn't want to see... I guess you're kinda asking for it when you sign up for a class like that, though. :) I felt like I was in jr. high class - and of course, I was the real mature one that was giggling, pointing, and averting my eyes... Dave must have been so embarrassed. :) It was fun, though because the teacher made us pregnant women's "partners" practice diapering and swaddling our fake babies. It was pretty entertaining. Dave did a great job - I'm sure he'll get much better in the upcoming months. :)

Then - we were able to go to a Steven Curtis Chapman/Michael W. Smith concert in Long Beach. That was an amazing experience. Steven was pretty open about what happened with his family almost a year ago. I got teary eyed a couple times. It was so neat to just see that he's a real person with real struggles and to see how God is bringing him and his family through this time. It was awesome. And, of course, MWS was pretty cool too! :)

Last, but of course not least, I had a baby shower with my church. It was amazing! :) I had prayed that the Lord would just use the baby shower to provide the needs that we still had for our little ZimZim. Of course - He did! It was such a HUGE praise! He provided all of our needs through that baby shower and even some of our wants. :) I don't know why I ever doubt Him! Stupid Keara!! *smacks forehead with palm of hand*

So...here we are with 3 weeks left in the pregnancy. My last day of work is next Friday, May 1st. Then my mom gets in to town on Tuesday, May 5th. Dave's parents and sister come in to town on Wednesday, May 6th. Dave's graduation party is Thursday, May 7th. Saturday, May 9th is a graduation banquet. Sunday, May 10th is graduation. Whew! It's gonna be busy! :)

Single White Female...

So, last night I went to this class called "Baby Care Basics." It's run by the hospital that we'll be having this little bundle of joy at. I thought it would be a good idea to go, get some ideas, and learn a few things... However, Dave teaches Bible study on Wednesday nights, so I decided rather than to torture him by making him go, I'd just go alone. :)

So, I get to the class, and I'm the first one there. As the room starts filling up with more and more people, I start to realize that I am the only husbandless woman in the room. Also, because my hands are swollen, I can no longer wear my wedding ring...keep that in mind...

So, apparently most of the couples in the room knew each other because of a postpartum depression awareness class they had taken together the night before. They were all discussing the class and talking about how they didn't really feel like they learned too much, etc... Well, the nurse that was co-leading the class spoke up and said, "Well, there are some single mothers out there who don't have a support group and need resources like this..." The whole time she was saying that she was looking at me with an expression that said, "We're here for you, honey. I feel your pain." Which lead the others in the class to look at me in the same way.

*sigh*

I felt like making an announcement. "I really am married! He's just teaching Bible Study tonight!" I wonder if they would have believed me...

Blessings from James...

I have been SO blessed this past year to have the opportunity of leading our GAP (college/career) girl's Bible Study every other Tuesday night. We just had Bible study last night, and I just HAVE to share about how my life has been impacted through this study!

First of all, I have to say that I DO NOT have the gift of teaching. No, I'm not fishing for compliments - I know that God has not gifted me in that way, and I'm ok with it! :) So, when my friend Sarah approached me about leading the Bible Study I was a little more than apprehensive...

We decided to go through the book of James, just an in-depth verse by verse study. We have done book studies in the past, but we decided to try something different this time... I have to tell you - I don't know how the other girls feel, but it has been an AMAZING encouragement to me. Needing to prepare to lead Bible Study every other week has really forced me to get into God's word and dig in. It's been so great to have to pick apart passages verse by verse, figure out what the author is intending to say, and anticipate any questions that might come from the text. I always double check my lesson with Dave first, just so that he can make sure that I'm not teaching anything heretical. :) I can't tell you how amazing the feeling is when you have been working and working through a text and just praying that God would reveal to you what's in His Word, and then He just causes the light bulb to go on. :) That is an awesome moment!

Also, it's been such a priviledge to have Bible Study with such an incredible group of girls. We're all sinners saved by grace, and we all have our struggles - but I LOVE that we come together every other week and dive in to God's Word together. It's great to unpack a portion of scripture together and I love seeing the looks of concentration on each one's face as we go through the text and search out what God is trying to teach us through it. Of course, we always end the time with prayer requests and prayer, and it's always such an encouragement to see the realness of each of the girls that are there. We're very open and honest about the things that the Lord is teaching us and the struggles that we're working through. I just love the openess that's there and the confession of struggling through sins. That leads to such a closeness of fellowship in knowing that now you'll be accountable to those people for what you've just shared with them. I'm so thankful for the friendships that the Lord has given me through this Bible Study.

Most of all, I'm thankful to God for being so gracious to allow me to lead this Bible study. I'm thankful that He chooses to use frail pots of clay like myself... and I'm thankful that each week He chooses to reveal Himself in His Word to me in such a real way. What a faithful Father.

Caught red handed...

Just thought I'd share a funny story from last night. :)

With me being vertically challenged and all, sometimes it's hard for me to reach the top shelf in our kitchen or anywhere, really... That's why I got married. Dave can reach everything that I can't.

Well, last night I decided that it was time to clean out one of the closets in our house. I had pulled everything out and was organizing it and cleaning, etc... While I was doing that, my husband - who has been incredibly busy as of late - was studying for a retreat that he's teaching at this weekend. The whole time he's studying he's constantly saying, "Don't overdo it!" "Do you need any help?" "Don't pick up anything too heavy!"

I had everything cleared out and cleaned...except for the things that were on the top shelf of the closet. The shelf that I couldn't reach... I had a problem... I had to reach the things on the top shelf of the closet, but I didn't want to ask Dave because he was busy, and I couldn't climb up on a chair because Dave has forbidden me to do that at this point in the pregnancy.

My mind was racing. What to do?! The problem was that Dave was studying at the kitchen table... The stool that I usually climb up on is in the kitchen... How could I get the stool without him noticing?!

So, me being the manipulative woman that I am, decided to nonchalantly stroll through the kitchen like I was going nowhere in particular. I grabbed the stool without Dave noticing and walked by him like nothing was unusual - hiding the stool behind my back. Once I got past him, I thought "Whew! I made it - I sure fooled him!" No sooner had I stepped through the doorway of the bedroom I heard from behind me, "Wait a minute, Keara..." I turn around. Caught. Red handed. With the stool.

Of course, with the stool in hand, it was pretty obvious what my intentions were. Still, Dave asked, "Were you planning on climbing up on that stool?" Of course I said, "No." :) But we both knew I was lying.

We had a good long laugh about it and Dave ended up pulling everything down from the top shelf for my like a good husband should. :)

I guess sometimes I can be stubborn...

Nothing Without You

I have just had SUCH an encouraging week in the Lord! What a blessing! There have just been so many things that I have been tempted to worry about (see previous post) :) and the Lord has given me the strength to give everything to Him. And on top of that He has been gracious enough to show Himself to me time and time again this week through answered prayer. It's such an amazing thing that He would care about the details of my life...

The biggest praise is that we went to our ultrasound specialist on Wednesday and he gave me and our little one a clean bill of health. He had a big smile on his face, and he said, "Everything looks great!" and I said, "Everything?!" he just smiled and nodded. PRAISE THE LORD!

Just wanted to share a song with you that's been encouraging to me:

Nothing Without You - Bebo Norman

Take these hands and lift them up
For I have not the strength to praise You near enough
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

Take my voice and pour it out
Let it sing the songs of mercy I have found
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

Chorus: All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
That I have nothing without You

Take my body and build it up
May it be broken as an offering of love
For I have nothing, I have nothing without You

All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see
But I love You

With all my heart
With all my soul
With all my mind
And all the strength I can find
All my soul needs
Is all Your love to cover me
So all the world will see I have nothing

Take my time here on earth
And let it glorify all that You are worth
For I am nothing, I am nothing, I am nothing without You

Trusting God...

Trusting God - it's something I wish I was better at. :) I'm a worrier by nature, and although I drive myself crazy, for some reason I have a sick obsession with overthinking things and coming to the worst possible conclusion. It's insane, I know. Who would want to worry about the worst possible conslusion to a scenario? Me. Sometimes I even jusitfy it by saying that I'm just, "Thinking things through" or "Preparing for the worst." I do think that we shouldn't go into things blindly, but I think that obsessively thinking about the worst possible thing that could happen is just not spiritually healthy. (or physically healthy for that matter)

I say all that because, never have I been tested more by Satan to worry than with this pregnancy. It seems like every time that I've come back from the doctor's office, there has been something that has come up that is a cause of concern for the doctor. And, of course, if it's a cause of concern for the doctor - I'm concerned about it too. My tendancy, though, is to take the doctor's "this is what this could lead to" or "this is what this could mean" and dwell on it as if it's truth. My husband put it best (of course) when after one of those statements he said, "Well, Keara, this is just another opporunity for us to trust God." Well, He's been giving us alot of those opportunities through this pregnancy, and I'm just praying that I am trusting God and relying on the One that knows my circumstances and the outcome. I'm thankful that God has known me and our little one since the beginning of time and only has our best interest in mind. :) Praise the Lord!

I have to apologize for being ambiguous about the health concerns alluded to above. Something that helps me in the "not worrying" process, is not broadcasting my issues to the whole world and getting everyone's input, as helpful as it may be. I'd appreciate your prayers, though! :)

It's about that time...

My husband told me that I need to update my blog. :) So, in submission, I will! :) I keep thinking, "I shouldn't update it until I have something worthwhile to talk about." Well, as you've seen, I haven't blogged since November - so I'm gonna try to muster up something to blog about. My life couldn't be that boring...could it? Hmm...don't answer that!

Anyways, life is pretty good. I'm getting to that point in my pregnancy where I'm actually enjoying it. I actually love it a ton. I thought the day would never come, but PRAISE THE LORD it's here! :) The sickness lasted until right after Thanksgiving and boy was it horrible! But just like everyone told me it would - life got better and I'm feeling great. People no longer look at me with that questioning look in their eyes, "Is she just fat or is she pregnant?!" So, that's nice too. :) Also, people are nicer to you when your pregnant. It's like they think you might either snap their heads off or cry otherwise. It's kinda nice... I plan on using it fully to my advantage. :)

To answer some frequently asked questions:

1) No, I don't have any weird cravings. Although I really enjoy soup for some reason, but I don't think that's too weird. I haven't asked Dave to do any midnight runs to pick me up anything. :)

2) No, we do not know nor will we find out what the gender is. Dave is guessing girl and I'm guessing boy. We bet on it and the person that loses has to change the first 20 diapers. :)

3) Yes, we do have names picked out. We're lucky to have come to an easy agreement on a name for each gender that we just LOVE. But, the name of the child is also a secret. :) I know - we're horrible! You'll just have to stay tuned to find out!

4) For those of you that don't know, our due date is May 17th. My last day of work will be May 1st - Dave graduates from seminary on May 10th - and, if all goes well, we meet our little one a week later. We're just praying that little Zim-zim (that's what Dave christened the baby) will want to hang out until the due date. We have the same exact due date as Dave's bff (Geoff) and his wife (Elizabeth) which is pretty much the awesomest thing EVER. Well, Geoff and Dave are graduating together on May 10th - so Elizabeth and I are crossing our fingers that neither one of our little ones decides to come exactly a week early. :)

Anyways, I guess that's what's going on! :) Well, I guess I did have something to blog about after all. Hope you all are doing well!