Trusting God...

Trusting God - it's something I wish I was better at. :) I'm a worrier by nature, and although I drive myself crazy, for some reason I have a sick obsession with overthinking things and coming to the worst possible conclusion. It's insane, I know. Who would want to worry about the worst possible conslusion to a scenario? Me. Sometimes I even jusitfy it by saying that I'm just, "Thinking things through" or "Preparing for the worst." I do think that we shouldn't go into things blindly, but I think that obsessively thinking about the worst possible thing that could happen is just not spiritually healthy. (or physically healthy for that matter)

I say all that because, never have I been tested more by Satan to worry than with this pregnancy. It seems like every time that I've come back from the doctor's office, there has been something that has come up that is a cause of concern for the doctor. And, of course, if it's a cause of concern for the doctor - I'm concerned about it too. My tendancy, though, is to take the doctor's "this is what this could lead to" or "this is what this could mean" and dwell on it as if it's truth. My husband put it best (of course) when after one of those statements he said, "Well, Keara, this is just another opporunity for us to trust God." Well, He's been giving us alot of those opportunities through this pregnancy, and I'm just praying that I am trusting God and relying on the One that knows my circumstances and the outcome. I'm thankful that God has known me and our little one since the beginning of time and only has our best interest in mind. :) Praise the Lord!

I have to apologize for being ambiguous about the health concerns alluded to above. Something that helps me in the "not worrying" process, is not broadcasting my issues to the whole world and getting everyone's input, as helpful as it may be. I'd appreciate your prayers, though! :)

It's about that time...

My husband told me that I need to update my blog. :) So, in submission, I will! :) I keep thinking, "I shouldn't update it until I have something worthwhile to talk about." Well, as you've seen, I haven't blogged since November - so I'm gonna try to muster up something to blog about. My life couldn't be that boring...could it? Hmm...don't answer that!

Anyways, life is pretty good. I'm getting to that point in my pregnancy where I'm actually enjoying it. I actually love it a ton. I thought the day would never come, but PRAISE THE LORD it's here! :) The sickness lasted until right after Thanksgiving and boy was it horrible! But just like everyone told me it would - life got better and I'm feeling great. People no longer look at me with that questioning look in their eyes, "Is she just fat or is she pregnant?!" So, that's nice too. :) Also, people are nicer to you when your pregnant. It's like they think you might either snap their heads off or cry otherwise. It's kinda nice... I plan on using it fully to my advantage. :)

To answer some frequently asked questions:

1) No, I don't have any weird cravings. Although I really enjoy soup for some reason, but I don't think that's too weird. I haven't asked Dave to do any midnight runs to pick me up anything. :)

2) No, we do not know nor will we find out what the gender is. Dave is guessing girl and I'm guessing boy. We bet on it and the person that loses has to change the first 20 diapers. :)

3) Yes, we do have names picked out. We're lucky to have come to an easy agreement on a name for each gender that we just LOVE. But, the name of the child is also a secret. :) I know - we're horrible! You'll just have to stay tuned to find out!

4) For those of you that don't know, our due date is May 17th. My last day of work will be May 1st - Dave graduates from seminary on May 10th - and, if all goes well, we meet our little one a week later. We're just praying that little Zim-zim (that's what Dave christened the baby) will want to hang out until the due date. We have the same exact due date as Dave's bff (Geoff) and his wife (Elizabeth) which is pretty much the awesomest thing EVER. Well, Geoff and Dave are graduating together on May 10th - so Elizabeth and I are crossing our fingers that neither one of our little ones decides to come exactly a week early. :)

Anyways, I guess that's what's going on! :) Well, I guess I did have something to blog about after all. Hope you all are doing well!

Mother knows best...

My mom always drilled into my head as I was growing up, "Keara, when you grow up - marry a man of integrity." I can remember at various times rolling my eyes when she would say this (of course, when she wasn't looking!).

I have to say now that I'm SO glad my mom took those "teachable moments" to instill in me such an important truth. I don't know if it was a conscious thought as I was going through my teen years and college years, but I'm sure that my mom's voice was in the back of my mind as I was evaluating the "special friends" that I had during those years.

Thankfully, my sophmore year of college the Lord brought Dave into my life. I have to say, that if there was ever a man of integrity it's Dave Trepanier. Dave has such a strong conscious it's ridiculous! I couldn't even get him to skip class with me in college! :) In all honesty, I'm am SO glad to be married to a man that I respect more than anyone else in my life. It's so great to be able to respect my husband, and it makes it that much easier to submit to him. I am so thankful for the godly leadership that he has in our marriage, and I'm just amazed at the wisdom that I see in him. He's so faithful to lovingly point me in the right direction, and I know when I ask for his advice he's not telling me what he thinks I want to hear but what he feels is wise. It is so great to be able to trust in my husband's leadership and decision making in our marriage - because I know that he has a tender heart to what the Lord wants. What a blessing to be under his loving authority!

If you've ever talked to me for very long about marriage - you know that I always say, "Marry a man of integrity - a man that you respect!" I'm sure that's because of what my mom instilled in me at such a young age. I can see now the wisdom in that statement, and I'm so thankful for her faithfulness to teach me that. Mother does always know best...

never again the same...

It's official. Our lives will never again be the same. Dave and I are expecting our first child. I can't stop smiling even as I type this.

We're about three months along. Hopefully the morning (actually all-day) sickness will be over soon. I also can't wait to feel like myself again and have energy to get through a whole day without needing to take a nap on my lunch hour. :) And, at the risk of sounding like I'm complaining too much - I'd really like to enjoy food again.

With all that said, I always thought, "Yeah right?!" when women said they forgot about all the pain of labor once they met their litte one. On a much smaller scale, I think that now I might understand a little bit. Going through these first three months has been anything but a picnic, but all that changed yesterday.

Yesterday morning, for the first time we met our little one. The kiddo is tiny - just about 2 1/2 inches. It's amazing that those 2 1/2 inches just changed my life forever. Absolutely amazing. You just can't prepare yourself for how you'll feel when you see that little one on the screen. Knowing that it's the product of an Almighty Creator who is loving it, knitting it, and forming it as it grows inside of you is breathtaking. As I looked at the screen and heard the baby's heartbeat, there were tears running down my face. Suddenly all those weeks of sickness, fatigue, and wondering if all of this would ever end was worth it all. A new life is forming inside of me - a special gift from God that He's entrusted to Dave and I.

Psalm 139:13-16

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth; Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them.

This one goes out to the one I love...

For all three of you that read my blog, it's about time I give a shout-out to one of my most favoritest people - my brother! BTW, the picture above is living proof that Ken and I first discovered the city of Pittsburgh. I know, it's a little known amazing fact.

Anyways, if there were a "Best Brother in the World" contest, Ken would win - hands down. I can't remember us ever having a fight. My mom says, though, that when I was three I slapped him. I guess he went to my mom crying saying, "She use to be so nice..." Apparently my mom told me what Ken said, and that was the last of the fights between the two of us.

Ken's always been protective of me. I remember when I was in third grade and he was in sixth grade at recess I fell and scraped my knee on the ground. Blood was gushing from my little knee, and I remember Ken rushing across the playground, scooping my up in his arms, and carrying me to my teacher. All the while he was yelling, "Boo-boo patrol!!" trying to make me laugh so I forgot about my injuries.

It didn't stop in third grade, though. I remember Ken helping me figure out how to schedule classes my freshman year of college. When he went to student teach and I was still at school, he'd call me at least once a week to check on me. He was always able to talk me through my problems - especially boy problems. And when he gave Dave the stamp of approval - I knew he was the one for me!

I guess when there's only two of you and you go through so much together, you have to be close. I don't know if it's because my parent's drilled it into our heads or because we just decided - but we've always been best friends. He's always the first person I want to call when something happens (after Dave, of course) because he's an excellent listener and I know he'll give me wise counsel. I've always thought he was the coolest guy and I'm constantly amazed by the amazing talents that he has. He got all the brains...

Anyways, Ken, I know you're going to read this blog - so I just want to thank you for being the BEST. I love you tons and tons!

I hate to brag..

I just wanted to tell someone about this. So - to all two of you that read this, here you go...

Usually for me, trips to the mailbox are filled with great expectation and anticipation followed quickly by sadness when all I find in my little mailbox are bills.

However, yesterday was different. I got a real, live, actual letter in the mail. That in itself is amazing. However - the person who I got the real, live, handwritten letter from was...Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Woo-hoo!!

For those of you who don't know her, just pretend to be excited for me! :) She is the author of a book that I love called, "Lies Women Believe." (you could just Google her to find out more...)

Anyways, I know what you're thinking, "Probably it was her secretary that wrote the note to you on her behalf." That's what I thought at first, but the handwritten address on the outside of the envelope was definitely different from the writing on the little card. (do you love how much I'm analyzing this?) :) That leads me to believe that she probably wrote the card and had her secretary address it and mail it - TO ME!! :)

Anyways, I probably won't be scrap booking this letter - but it will reside on our fridge for months to come, I'm sure! :)

Pet Peeve...

I have a pet peeve - being "shushed" ranks at the top of my "Most Annoying Things You Could Ever Do To Someone" list. Especially if you are being "shushed" by someone who talks exceeding louder and longer than you do.

Just thought I would share.